once upon a time i had a dream. tell me what this means.
i'm in a dark parking garage reminiscent of batman's lair. an elder friend prepares his sickeningly beautiful car for a ride out, commenting distractedly to me that the alternative energy models aren't perfect yet. i silently agree.
together we confront my mother. he tells her he's pure magic and shows her by manifesting a jade egg in his hands out of thin air. then i do the same, though i'm pretty sure mine was white? i'm momentarily inside my mother's mind, and she's so confused, almost sad.
then he tells me i can be anything i wanna be. i can even be ironman, or something similarly archetypal. soon i'm in the air, careening through the night sky. i find a girl who's struggling amidst the currents of a waterfall. then she falls. i catch her before she strikes water and she's so relieved, grateful.
then i get cocky and ignore my dwindling energy reserves, and we start to descend. i'm no longer carrying just her, but two others, one of whom is my brother.
and so we fall. and as we fall we hit a plane-like vehicle that has also gone down but never really bothered to actually strike earth, its remains floating amidst the clouds, a precariously poised docking station in the heavens, kind of like a silent 'fuck you' to Gravity™. so we strike it inadvertently and the entire construct begins to slip. we hold onto it for dear life. then the others, including my brother, jump off. as they jump and shake the construct one of my MAP bottles slips out of my pocket, its cover removed, a hundred pills spilling out into the nite sky. my container of unpasteurized milk slips out from under me as well. for some reason these deaths devastate me even more than the imminence of my own. then i understand i need to jump as well. and so i dive into violent headwinds, collapsing into the breath of god.
as i fall i'm crying but i'm also in control. in my dream i'm aerodynamic af, and my descent speed easily outstrips the others'. i descend past them lightning fast and evaluate the grassy landscape below. a surreal calm comes over me, and in this moment i understand i need to slingshot myself around one among the myriad distant trees below, channeling my accumulated kinetic energy into centripetal force. so i can live.
i converge onto earth's plane four feet above ground, my hands grazing grass, eyes bearing down on an incoming tree. i finally make contact with the tree and grasp onto its spine for dear life, compelling myself to loop around it a million times until i slow down, eventually falling innocuously to the earth.
i exit scene weary and maimed and out of breath, still looking for my MAP, still looking for answers, still craving and seeking the peace and truth and other beautiful things that cannot die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWfph3iNC-k
LS