fourteen years ago, somewhere in the early spring of twenty twelve, i had the exact same recurring dream four, maybe five times in the same month..
since twenty twenty one, i’ve found myself retrospectively wondering whether the physical spikes of that first sequence, stark along the shoreline, were a prefiguration––auguring the pathogenic spikes that would be administered to billions nine years later..
i’m positioned aerially along the belvedere coastline, my viewport dimmed beneath a heavy, overcast sky. the water lies flat, argentine—the circumambient air carrying a disconsolate stillness..
then, suddenly, the view shifts, almost violently, as if the scene is being torn open—and i make out myriad spikes lining the rocky shore..
at first they register only as structures—but as i draw nearer, the image resolves with a kind of unwilling clarity. they are not empty..
i realize instantly that the severed heads of friends, family are pierced upon them—bloodied, suspended, unmistakable. this mise-en–scène lingers cruelly, forcing recognition where one would prefer abstraction..
the first face that comes into focus is that of my former dentist—unexpected, but somehow marked as the beginning. almost like the first domino in a chain whose consequences only time could reveal in earnest..
others follow, implied if not fully seen, until the coastline itself feels consecrated by this silent procession..
and then, without rupture, the scene lifts..
i am positioned aerially again, looking out onto the skyline of the city. the skycape has shifted chromatically now—imbued with pastel, amethyst hues, bruised, luminous against the horizon..
the golden gate bridge lies collapsed—its scaffolding shattered, its span undone. from its wake, a bloom of smoke unfurls into the night sky—the violence that birthed it already receding, leaving only residue behind..
the city stands beyond it, intact yet distant, while the space that once connected everything lies broken beneath the same sky..
and before i can cry out for celestial exposition, i awaken..